It's been a dark night

Today is a day I wish I had my dog
It is grey out and the sun is gone
it is cold and hostility blows at the window
it is warm in this room
but empty
I have a desperate feeling
and I wish I had my dog
(Nov. 2000 Journal entry)

I was talking about Jubilee of course.
These could be my very words today.
The weather has changed, finals are quickly approaching, and I miss my dog.
I didn't think this emptiness would last.
This hole.
I would be absolutely devastated with the loss of Belle or Marcie.
I am totally in love with those two.
I am completely enamored with each of their unique personalities.
But their presence doesn't lessen the emptiness.
I keep thinking it should.
My heart so full with love, still aches.
I don't understand that.

Today is a day I wish I had my dog.